Just say NO

Sometimes, you have to lower your expectations. Friends come and go and I am not sure if it is just myself being over the top or the people I am interacting with, but a lot of time I don't expect much because I hate relying on others for anything. I prefer to do things myself which can be both a good and bad thing. Sometimes I may find those people who would not mind me doing all of the work while others want to be involved and help out. There has to be some kind of balance and in this particular situation I am going to mention, I felt it coming.

I have a friend who I have known for almost three years now. And I told him a few weeks ago I will be in San Francisco and we should meet up. He's all excited and up for it. Long story short, when I arrive, I text him letting him know and normally he responds within a reasonable time. I wait 2 days and no response. Texting is just one of those things where there can be some kind of miscommunication so instead of jumping to conclusions of asking "Why haven't you responded?" or "Have you received my text?" I text back again adding in some information. He tells me that he was sick but is feeling better at the moment. Personally, I found that a bit fishy, but I said hey let me let it slide. I pick a date for us to meet and he says "Sounds good" The week goes by and I wait till Friday to let him know that I am on the way to San Fran, he says "What's up?" as if he has forgotten about the plans. Sir, if you don't want to see me. That is fine. Say it. Man up. No hard feelings. So hours pass by and nothing. I tried calling him several times and he declined the first time because he was busy. The following time, he did not pick up. I texted him several times and no response neither. I am not sure if it was a bad day, if he was confused, if he forgot, hiding something, or just bailing out. I am upset, but had a feeling from the start that this was meant to happen. I am not too sure why, but it is once again a learning lesson.

Life Lesson: ?earn how to say no. I know many people are afraid to hurt feelings or want to please people or for whatever reason, but you can't do everything. Not everything will work out and that's ok. Not saying that you have to say no, but there's other ways to show your point across the spectrum. To this day, I still struggle to say no in certain situations, but I let he/she know through my words or actions that I have no interest in whatever it may be.

One thing to note, I really dislike making plans through texting because many times the directions are not clear. Either face to face or talking on the phone. Otherwise, forget it. I have a few friends who I would text them plans, but I do that because I know they understand me and we are at that level to make plans and possibly not have any issues. As for the guy I was attempting to meet...I am not too sure if he remembered/understood that I was serious. And I am not sure if I would want to speak with him again.