Just say NO

Sometimes, you have to lower your expectations. Friends come and go and I am not sure if it is just myself being over the top or the people I am interacting with, but a lot of time I don't expect much because I hate relying on others for anything. I prefer to do things myself which can be both a good and bad thing. Sometimes I may find those people who would not mind me doing all of the work while others want to be involved and help out. There has to be some kind of balance and in this particular situation I am going to mention, I felt it coming.

I have a friend who I have known for almost three years now. And I told him a few weeks ago I will be in San Francisco and we should meet up. He's all excited and up for it. Long story short, when I arrive, I text him letting him know and normally he responds within a reasonable time. I wait 2 days and no response. Texting is just one of those things where there can be some kind of miscommunication so instead of jumping to conclusions of asking "Why haven't you responded?" or "Have you received my text?" I text back again adding in some information. He tells me that he was sick but is feeling better at the moment. Personally, I found that a bit fishy, but I said hey let me let it slide. I pick a date for us to meet and he says "Sounds good" The week goes by and I wait till Friday to let him know that I am on the way to San Fran, he says "What's up?" as if he has forgotten about the plans. Sir, if you don't want to see me. That is fine. Say it. Man up. No hard feelings. So hours pass by and nothing. I tried calling him several times and he declined the first time because he was busy. The following time, he did not pick up. I texted him several times and no response neither. I am not sure if it was a bad day, if he was confused, if he forgot, hiding something, or just bailing out. I am upset, but had a feeling from the start that this was meant to happen. I am not too sure why, but it is once again a learning lesson.

Life Lesson: ?earn how to say no. I know many people are afraid to hurt feelings or want to please people or for whatever reason, but you can't do everything. Not everything will work out and that's ok. Not saying that you have to say no, but there's other ways to show your point across the spectrum. To this day, I still struggle to say no in certain situations, but I let he/she know through my words or actions that I have no interest in whatever it may be.

One thing to note, I really dislike making plans through texting because many times the directions are not clear. Either face to face or talking on the phone. Otherwise, forget it. I have a few friends who I would text them plans, but I do that because I know they understand me and we are at that level to make plans and possibly not have any issues. As for the guy I was attempting to meet...I am not too sure if he remembered/understood that I was serious. And I am not sure if I would want to speak with him again. 

There has to be a better way...

One of the great advantages of traveling in the Bay area is the transportation. Their trains, street cars, are busses are very convenient and easy to use, but I do question one thing...the proof of payment method. Unlike DC and NYC where you have to type or swipe your card before entering, San Fran follows their honest system where people are expected to have a ticket in hand to show to the Fare Inspectors if requested. Or if someone is using a Clippers card, they need to tap it on one of the kiosks before boarding the train. The problem with this proof of payment method is that the ticket is not being checked consistently so the staff may overlook the few passengers that ride for free. And certain people use the clippers card, how can they track if passengers tapped their card? I can only imagine how much the Caltrain, the VTA, and other modes of transportation lose so much money every year. Of all the times that I have boarded the Caltrain and VTA, not once was I asked for my boarding ticket. And what makes it more confusing traveling in the Bay area, depending what part, the mode of transportation company is different requiring to figure out the cost and how to get there. The good thing with it is that if someone owns a clippers card, they can use it on the different transportation systems. For example, I can use it on the Caltrain and then switch to the BART in the city. As long there is money loaded on the card, the person is set to go.

But at the same time, it would be hard to implement the systems made in DC and NYC in San Fran because of the design of the stations. First and foremost, most if not all are outside and its not gated. It is completely open. On many stops, you can walk out the physical track to get to the other side of the station. So attempting to force people pay before loading on would be difficult. There has to be a better way...

San Francisco

While in Atherton, CA, I had the chance to travel to San Francisco, which is easier than I thought. Many people opted to take Uber and Lyft, both modes of transportation can be quite expensive. Luckily, San Francisco is known for their great transportation system and thanks to the Caltrain and their BART systems, I decided to take both of these transportation instead.

Atherton, CA is located outside of San Francisco and in order to travel to San Fran,  the Caltrain will take you there. The Caltrain system is seperated into 6 zones. The more zones you travel to, the longer your ride and the cost. For example, I was traveling from Zone 3 from the Menlo Park Station to Zone 1, San Francisco. The one way fare was $7.25. That is expensive and this is only one way. There were other options such as the day pass, monthly pass, and so on. I can only imagine if there are people who make this commute everyday to go to work, On the train itself, it took approximately 50 minutes to get from Menlo Park to San Francisco. And from the San Francisco station, we walked about 2 miles to Chinatown. It was very windy, but nice weather. On our way, we stopped by H&M to buy sweaters because we knew it would get cold later on.

Chinatown in SF is beautiful. Tons of shops and places to eat. We noticed two women hustling on the streets trying to drag people into their shops. I read about this in China and is done often to especially foreigners. We went into one restaurant and was not satisfied of the people inside nor we smelled nothing so we left. The lady was very upset. We headed to another Chinese restaurant and I had this spicy chicken with rice. It was good. I wish it wasn't so dry (in terms of having additional sauce around it) and had some vegetables on the side. Otherwise it was not bad at all. From there, we walked a ton more to the Zig Zag street AKA Lombard Street. People drive down this narrow street. It is filled with a ton of flowers on the sides and to get to this particular street, you have to walk up these steep streets of SF. Not sure how people bike on the streets or if people are able to bike on them. There were a decent amount of people there taking pictures. The walking did not bother me too much, but the other people I was with were struggling.

Our last stop was the Golden Gate Bridge, which did not turn out too well. We had to take an Uber there because of time and by the time we got there, it was dark and way too windy. People were complaining of how cold it was (I can't blame them) and wanted to go as soon as we got there. After a 30 minute wait or so, we caught an UBER back to the Caltrain station where we had to wait an HOUR before the last train of the night arrived. What a pain. The big difference with the trains in DC vs SF is that these trains in SF are MUCH more expensive (just to go one way) and move a lot slower. But what I really like about SF is how biker friendly it is. There are a ton more people on bikes than in DC in my opinion. I can see myself living here. 

45 Days More

As I am preparing for my big trip abroad, there are many things that I need to prepare.  The most important item of all is my visa. A visa is a official document of approval that I can enter into a particular country. Each country has their own rules and regulations of how one can enter into their country. Also, depending on the country you are traveling from, each has their own laws and regulations people of that  country must abide to it. In this particular case, China has very strict laws when it comes to visas. No matter if someone was coming for a day or a week or a few months or more than a year, a visa is required to enter China.

Since I will be going for a year and studying at a university in China, I will apply for the X1 or X2 visa. These visas are one of the easiest visas to obtain and all you have to do is show the original acceptance letter from the school along with your application letter and pay the fee. The difference between the X1 and X2 visas are the length. The X1 are for stududents studying for more than 6 months and the X2 for students studying less than 6 months. Unfortunately, since the school I am particularly attending only accepts students on a semester by semester basis, I will have to apply for the X2 visa meaning when I go back for the Spring Semester, I will have to renew my visa. What a pain!

Currently, I am still traveling and working so until I am home and have my materials, the visa is still in progress. Upcoming, I will talk about what I plan to pack, buy, and leave behind.

A new beginning

Finally having a break off from school, I have been able to get away and just think about all of the great things I have achieved while at the school while at the same time reflect on my sophomore year. I was given a scholarship to attend the SC14 conference in New Orleans, Louisiana, was a publicist for my school's SAC club, a member of the APO community service fraternity and so on. While I was at school, I made a ton of new friends and close relationships with a variety of students. But at the same time, I faced many who were genuinely nice people, but the priorities were quite questionable. At the end of the day, I had to pull myself back and think if I wanted to be around these kind of people and I decided to step back for the betterment of myself. I need to put myself around people who will encourage me, challenge me and give me the support I wanted and I wasn't receiving such things from them.

Now being away from school and working with an amazing group of people who share similar goals, it is refreshing to talk to them and express our opinions of the latest topics and receive feedback from others on what I can do to better myself. Working with the kids this summer has given me clarity of certain ideas and things that I would want to pursue in the future. Although I was aiming for an internship this summer, I felt as if the internship fell out for a reason. Something was telling me that I needed more time and I had to work another year with the same company for a better understanding of what I want to do in life. I still don't know exactly what it is just yet, but I have some big plans coming up soon.

FOOD

While in Japan, I had so many different kinds of Japanese food. Below, I will list and explain each one that I had:

• Yakitori - Grilled Chicken placed onto a bamboo stick along with vegetables, other meats, and tofu
• Tempura - Deep fried fish and vegetables in light batter. To be more specific, I had fried shrimp with fried seaweed, pumpkin, radish and some other vegetables. 
• Mochi - Pounded Japanese rice found commonly in desserts
• Okonomiyaki - Japanese pancake with a ton of vegetables put together (mainly cabbage) topped with this amazing sauce (taste like barbecue sauce)
• Natto - Smells terrible, but does not taste too bad. The taste reminds me of the beans my mother makes at home that originates from Nigeria, which are called Oqua beans
• Onigiri - My favorite snack. It is a triangle shaped rice with some sort of filling inside wrapped around seaweed on the outside of the rice sandwich. On the inside, it can be from fish to eggs to just about anything honestly. 
• Japanese Curry Rice - Amazing curry sauce filled with carrots with white rice on the side to eat. So delicious!
• Udon - Very thick noodles served in some kind a broth topped with tempura, vegetables, and other items as well. 
• Yakisoba - Fried noodles with a thick sweet sauce. I had them when we stayed at the seminar house for a few days. Delicious!
• Dango - Japanese dumpling served on a stick. Very chewy texture and tasted like sweet soy sauce. I did not really like it unfortunately. 
• Tonkatsu - My absolute favorite! Deep fried prok cutlet served with thin shredded cabbage! Absolutely delicious! Served along with this amazing tonkatsu sauce and the cabbage can be eaten with dressing. 
• Miso Soup - Served mainly for breakfast, but I had it for many meals of the day. Consists of a variety of vegetables, seafood, and meat. 

There are definitely many other things that I have eaten during my two weeks in Japan. These are the food that really stood out to me.